Dealing With Tough Children Issues Arising from Parents Separating
Divorce involving children can be the most delicate and difficult type of divorce for both parents. The fact that a marriage that has been fine is finally ending brings a lot of emotional stress. When children are involved, parents often begin to fight for their interests while unknowingly neglecting the ramifications of the impact of separation on their kids. Knowing how to deal with these issues will keep you and your children in an intact and sustainable relationship while reducing the emotional stress and turmoil that children may undergo during this difficult time.
Here are a few issues that might arise after parents separate from their partners.
Tendencies of trying to feel guilty: Often, most parents begin to make up to their children. While it is arguable that your children are the only thing you can count on your hard work and commitment you had in your last marriage, guilt is obviously not the right basis of steering a new parental relationship after divorce. It is good for separated parents to return to their parenting roles as soon as it is practically possible – however, the new form of parenting is likely to be different from the previous one.
Talking with your children about your former partner: Talking with your kids about your divorce is part of the healing process and parents need to be honest with their children. In addition, they should not pour anger and criticisms about their ex-partner. The content of discussion should be limited by the nature of divorce and the age of your children. Below are a few suggestions on how to achieve the best from your discussions:
• Discuss with your children after necessary parenting plans have been finalized
• It is good to talk to them when your ex-partner is around
• Show a great deal of respect even if you do not agree on a number of issues. Try not to apportion blame, as it will not offer the children any help to hear one criticize of rebuke their father or mother.
• Discuss with your children about the new parenting plans such as custody and other important matters
Know how much information children should know: Children have the right to know about changes in living arrangements, but their age should be the guiding stone in determining the extent to which certain matters can be discussed. Usually, young children need to be given less detailed information, often accompanied by simple explanations. Since you know what is right for your children, you need to share information that will help your children nurture positive values.
Dealing with disagreements: Disagreements are likely to arise between you and your ex-partner. If you find yourself embroiled in a series of battles, try to think about your children. It is important not to engage your children in your bitter exchanges, as this will ruin your relationship with children. Remember that children need to enjoy a perfect relationship free of hate and anger with both parents regardless of whether their parents agree or not.
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